Burnout feels like a physical, emotional and/or mental exhaustion that can decrease motivation, lower performance and create negative attitudes toward oneself and others.
High achievers are less likely to notice burnout as it hides behind perfectionism, productivity, and professionalism. For high achievers burnout can look like disconnecting from yourself and what brings you joy, to meet the demands of others. No longer feeling like yourself and feeling like you just have to push through. This can be learned as a survival strategy.
1. Constant exhaustion or fatigue
A physical and mental exhaustion connected to unmanaged stress. This is the type of fatigue that does not go away with sleep or rest, this can last months to years with no clear end in sight. High achievers normalize exhaustion as part of how they are supposed to feel to be seen as hard workers. This means feelings of stress may appear first until a task is completed, then exhaustion and fatigue set in.
2. Feeling like you are in danger if you do not perform to a certain standard
You might have thoughts like ‘I am not safe if I do not succeed’, ‘I will be in trouble if I do not perform well’, or ‘If I achieve I belong’. This is something that may have started in childhood because of expectations from authority figures and only being praised or valued for achievements. Failure might have led to punishment or neglect, when realistically mistakes are a part of life and opportunities to grow.
You may engage in over-preparation, procrastination, or constant re-checking to avoid mistakes, which temporarily provides a sense of safety. Your nervous system may adapt to this way of thinking causing initial panic that leads to that long term exhaustion.
3. Loose boundaries
High achievers do not want to let others down and may take on more responsibilities than they can manage. This can become a pattern when dependability is rewarded and is tied to a sense of identity. You say yes when you mean no. Instead of taking time to rest and recharge, personal well-being is sacrificed.
4. A loss of joy
Things in life that once brought your joy and connection begin to feel flat. Detachment and cynicism can creep in, leaving you feeling negative towards something you were once passionate about. Burnout does not always look like a big collapse and it can appear slowly over time, almost feeling like nothing actually changed. However, the emotional numbness and detachment can happen while you are still grinding to meet expectations, losing some of yourself in the process.
5. Physical changes
Burnout may go undetected for a long time. The body may notice the signs before the mind does.
This can include:
Productivity does not prove your worth even though it may be something that you have been told your entire life. Healing from burnout is not about doing less, it is about reconnecting with yourself and what brings meaning to your life. It is also not by abandoning your ambitions, but by exploring how to achieve them in a way that is authentic, joyful, and meaningful to you.
This may look like creating a structured self care and safety plan. Sometimes this can be daunting to do on your own. Working with a therapist toward noticing patterns, core beliefs, and healing can be the first step.
Different types of therapy such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can support in identifying core beliefs and values, recognizing patterns, finding what brings your joy, and provide emotional regulation support. Virtual therapy for burnout can also offer less stress and more flexibility around planning therapy sessions.
If you feel like you have resonated with this article, book a free consultation here to get started on your healing journey.
